I am so in need of my can opener right now. I crave any sort of human physical contact right now. I think that it is so bad because for one I have gone for far too long without so much as even a hug and then I am soon to start my period. I am always the worst right before and right after my period. I dont really know why that is but I am sure that there is some biological reason for it. Anyways it is bad. And what is worse is that right now my only friends are highschoolers. Um sorry cant touch them that would make me a dirty old woman! I am secretly hoping that at the wine fest at the end of this month I meet someone who is my own age. I would give anything just to touch another human being right now. Everyone who knows me knows that I love to touch people, hug them, tap them while I am talking to them. Hell I love kissing, I kiss my own sorority little when there is no one else around. Touch is very important to me and I need it so baddly right now. Alright, that is out of my system for a bit.
I really need to do laundry but I cannot find a laundrymat. This is a problem. I do not want to ask anna because her family has already been so great to me I do not want to use up more of their things. I think that tomorrow I will just buy new underwear and throw the rest away so I do not have to worry about washing them. maybe I will ask one of my professors for help. They all seem really worried about me, so maybe this will help. Or maybe I will just take everything into the shower with me. But then I will take too long of a shower and use more water adn I have no where to hang things.... this is a problem. IF anyone knows of any good laundry places in Ingelheim let me know! Maybe I will just head to the river.. but I dont want to get soap in it.... ugg Laundry sucks!
So today I met a bunch of the students... They all asked me about my boyfriend. Umm well kids I do not have one. Sorry you got a spinster for a teaching assistant. They always lost intrest in me after I answerd that question. Really I am starting to wonder if I really am ok in this world alone, maybe the kids are right and I should have someone by my side. Maybe I really cannot do it alone. it is so romantic in my town. As I walk through the streets and past the wine houses I just wish I had someone there with me. I think that because I have always had such great friends I have never had occasion to notice how truly lonley I am. But somehow Erin getting married has thrown me for a loop, everyone I know is meeting potential mates except for me. I have never cared to. I always have had friends who give me everything that I need. But what happens when they are all married and are caring for their mate and have no more time to care for me. What do I do then
CRAP I AM A SINGLE STRONG WOMAN I DO NOT NEED A MAN TO BE COMPLETE... right?
I am having dinner tonight at one of the houses I am looking at and then tomorrow at 2 I meet wiht the other place to decide which one I will call home for the next 10 months. I want to stay close to Anna she is such a great friend so depending on where the second one is I think I have made up my mind. Although I am getting tired of walking an hour to work everyday and this is only the second day. Maybe when I stop going for 2 hour walks every night that will get better. However, I dont think I will ever be done walking around this place and if I do then the train is right here and I can explore elsewhere.
alright I am going to go write an email to my mum.
Love you all
xoxo
Me
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