I am not ready to go home yet!

Alright kids, so I only have 52 days left in Germany... this is not enough time. Hence I have decided to study in England. I know England is not Germany, but I do not speak well enough to get my masters here, but luckily I speak English (somewhat) so I think I can pass classes in England, and then I still get to learn about Europe. This is the first thing in a long while that makes me really happy.

So to get the bad news out. The guy I was sort of in a way complicated almost relationship with, gave up 52 days before I can be there and we can actually make this thing work he says it is too much and gives up. But of course we are still really good friends, does he get that it will take me a really long time to just be friends. That at first every time I see him I am going to want to be with him again. Oh well, the world turns . Oh well I am over it. I would be being unfair to ask him to wait while I did graduate school in another country. I was hoping to talk him into coming with me, but really, maybe I will meet someone now. And really, if he cannot handle me being gone it is better to never really start anything more, because if I get my dream job I will be gone a lot.

In Case I forgot to tell you my dream job is working for an international organization helping people in areas of conflicts. (Claudia, do you like that I am pretending that anyone but you reads this? haha)

What next,

Oh right only 52 more days.

This weekend I am going to hang out in the black forest for a bit.
The days after my birthday I have free, I think I am going to do some backpacking for the long weekend.
Also on my birthday Shelly and Tiffany get to Oxford so sometime after that we will be going to Italy. I am so excited to go to Italy. I just want to see Everything! I have not even left Europe yet and I cannot wait to get back here again.

And when I get back I will get to see other places, and learn about other people. I think that is what I love the most. I love hearing about peoples lives. I have always been a people watcher, but it is so much more interesting to actually hear about their lives!


Alright, I have so much more on my mind, but I am going to skip most of it.. except this...

I do not want to have my birthday this year... I do not mind being a year older 23 is not all that old. However, I just feel like my birthday is going to be super bad. My birthdays are always bad something tragic always happens but I fear this year is building into something worse than usual. I am holding to the hope that this will break all traditions, there will be no hospitals, no crazy fights with the parents or siblings, I wont lose anything, or anything else negative. This year is either going to go down in history as the worst, or as breaking the cycle. (The optimistic side of me has to hold on to the break the cycle)

Alright I am going to head to bed. I have almost finished a book and it is getting really REALLY intense so I want to get my chapter out of the way so I am that much closer.


I love you lots!
xoxox